Chapter 2

~Uruha’s POV~

            The date was nice and Aoi didn’t try to come home with me which was a relief. I’m more determined than ever not to be a slut. If I want a good man I have to be good myself. It’s my new motto.

            In the cinema I let Aoi place his hand on my thigh. Is that sluttish behaviour? I don’t think so. Still it was my first date… I don’t know how not to be a slut! That’s my problem. Maybe I was being to easy and scared Aoi away.

            No. He defiantly wanted to kiss me before I got in my car to drive home. But I pulled away. I’m not going to be easy anymore. I’m not.

~Aoi’s POV~

            My date with Uruha was weird. Amazing but weird. We had a great time and got on well but he kept sending me mixed signals. In the cinema he seemed keen for this to be a date. He really liked me. But then he suddenly froze up on me. Have I done something wrong? He wouldn’t even let me kiss him good bye. I thought he was just going to drive off but then he gave me his phone number. He must like me. Maybe he only wants to be friends. But then why would he… oh I’m so confused.

            I need beer. A nice cool refreshing class of beer to calm my mind. No. I can’t have beer. I’ve given it up. Uruha was meant to help me overcome this addiction! Now he’s confused me to the point I want to drink myself into oblivion just so I won’t be confused any more.

            I’m supposed to call my sponsor when I feel like this. But I don’t like him. He’s always got this fake smile on his face. He’s supposed to be helping me but he makes me feel worse. I can tell he’s gloating because he’s cracked his problem and I haven’t. Screw him. I’ll just talk to Kai. Sure he’s at work but he’ll understand. He’s far too good to me. I really don’t deserve a friend and flat mate like him but I’m not giving him up.

            Oh this was a good idea. Go to my friends restaurant which just happens to have a bar. The stupid waitress has seated me in a table staring right at it. Great. It’s not her fault. She doesn’t know I have a problem.

            “Can I get you anything?” she asks. Yeah she can get me something. A nice pint of beer.

            “I’m a friend of Kai’s, the head chef and manager. Can you tell him I’m here? It’s urgent.” I respond.

            “Sure.” The waitress replies with a smile. “What’s your name.”

            “Aoi. Tell him I need help with a problem.” I add.

            “Sure.” She says and smiles again. It’s still early and the restaurant isn’t that busy so I don’t feel too guilty about dragging Kai out of the kitchen. I wait patiently for Kai knowing he’ll come. He’s been nothing but supportive of me. I’ve treated him like dirt but I’m going to make up for it.

            Kai’s the one who first realised I had a problem. I think he suspected for awhile. I’d come home drunk demanding he leant me money only to go out and spend it all on alcohol. I’d even stolen from him. That’s the worst part. I stole from my best friend.

            It was when I sold Kai’s stereo for drink money that he forced me to get help. He dragged me too the meeting and sat there with me to make sure I stayed. He confiscated my bank cards and kept an eye on me. It was tough love but it worked. Kai can now trust me to stay sober. I’m fine when I’m sober.

            Kai returned access to my money earlier this week. He’d taken my rent and money for bills but I had a surprising amount saved up. Well I hadn’t been able to spend it. The first thing I did was buy Kai a new stereo. I’m going to pay back every yen I took. I’m going to become a man he can trust. That’s my goal.

            “You better still be sober.” Kai announced as he sat down across from me.

            “I am.” I promise and Kai believes me. He always believes me. That’s what made it so easy to lie to him. But this time I am telling the truth.

            “You want to drink.” Kai said. He wasn’t accusing me of anything he was stating the fact.

            “I’m so confused.” I sigh.

            “So you want to drink away your problem?” Kai asked and I nod.

            “Yeah. That’s why I’m here.” I respond. Kai understands. He’s the one who promised to help me get through this.

            “Where have you been all afternoon?” Kai asked. “You didn’t return home and I was worried you’d be out drinking.”

            “I went to the cinema.” I respond. “I have the ticket stub to prove it.” I add.

            “I don’t need proof.” Kai laughs. “Did you go on your own?”

            “I went with him.” I said happily. Kai knows all about Uruha.

            “So it went well?” Kai asks and I explain everything that happened. How wonderful Uruha is. How much I like him. And how confused I am about his feelings towards me. Kai listens and asks the occasional question. I know I can trust Kai with my secrets.

            “So? Do you think he likes me?” I finish and Kai looks thoughtful.

            “I think he does.” Kai said carefully. He obviously doesn’t want to get my hopes up in case he’s wrong. “He properly isn’t used to dating when sober. That’s why he’s confused. Maybe he’s done things he’s regretted in the past.”

            “That makes sense.” I agree. Maybe Kai is right. It’s something new to think about anyway.

            “I’m going home.” I say standing up. “You have work.”

            “You sure I won’t find you with a bottle?” Kai asks.

            “I’m fine. Thank you.” I say really meaning it. I don’t want to drink anymore I’m too obsessed with what Uruha is keeping secret. There was defiantly more to his story. Kai was right. He had been with holding information in the meeting.

~Uruha’s POV~

            I stayed at home the next few days. I hated to admit it but I was waiting for him to call. I didn’t want to be out and miss it. I’d jump every time the phone rang and ran to answer it. Only to wait for three rings so I didn’t appear to be waiting for the phone to ring.

            He rang on the third day. Naturally I had to be in the shower. I ran out dripping wet with only a small towel wrapped around me.

            “Hello?” I say into the phone.

            “Hi. It’s me. Aoi.” Came the reply and I’m filed with relief and happiness. He still likes me. I thought I had scared him off. Maybe I should have let him kiss me. My sister defiantly thinks I should have let him kiss me. She finds it hilarious that I’ve gone all serious about not being a slut. But she’s used to me sleeping around. She doesn’t really understand that it was the alcohol that made me like that. She thinks it’s natural for men to sleep around. Maybe it is. But I’m still not going to. I’ve made up my mind.

            “Aoi.” I say and I can hear my own happiness in my voice. Aoi seems to hear it too.

            “Well that’s stopped me worrying.” Aoi laughs.

            “Worrying?” I repeat.

            “I was afraid you didn’t like me.” Aoi responds. It’s because I didn’t kiss him.

            “I like you. I’m just a little messed up right now.” I admit.

            “I can understand that.” Aoi responds.

            “It’s not you.” I reassure him. “I like you.” Great I’m being a whore again. Why do I have to be like this?

            “I like you too.” Aoi responds. “That’s why I’m calling. Would you like to come round to my house? My friends going to cook us dinner.”

            “Your friend? Shouldn’t you be cooking?” I ask.

            “He’s a professional. It’s better this way.” Aoi replies. “So interested?”

            “Yeah.” I say and he gives me his address. I’m meeting him tonight. For a meal. At his house. Wait at his house? Does that mean he’s trying to get me into his bed? I start to panic but then I remember his friend. His friend will be there. He won’t try to fuck me with his friend there. Would he? Maybe they were planning to rape me together!

            No! I’m being paranoid. Aoi is a nice guy. He just wants a meal with me. Nothing more. Well he properly does want sex but he won’t force it, because he’s a nice guy.

            I drive to Aoi’s house to find it’s just an apartment building. It looks reasonable enough but I’m extra careful to lock my car. An expensive car like mine stands out in this neighbourhood. I’m still having images of being raped but I ignore them as I enter the building and climb the stairs to the second floor. I’m too lazy to wait for the lift. I know that sounds kind of weird but I’d much rather walk than wait. I’m too nervous to stand still.

            “Uruha.” Aoi says as he greets me at the door. “Come in.”

            “Umm…” I mutter unsure. “Is this ok?”

            “Huh?” Aoi asks. “Why wouldn’t it be ok? Kai doesn’t mind cooking if that’s what’s bothering you. We could always go out I guess. If you really want. But then Kai would be mad and I’m not very good at restaurants yet. The beer is too tempting.”

            “So this is to avoid the temptation of alcohol?” I ask.    

            “Yeah.” Aoi confirms. I smile and enter his house. Aoi has no ulterior motives. I’m sure of it. He’s just been thoughtful.