Chapter 5

            Once again we wake up to Kai knocking on our door. I groan as I notice the time, it’s far too early for anyone to be up. Which is obviously why he turned up now. He gives Aoi a look and drags me into the hall. That got Aoi’s attention. We have no secrets. What could Kai possibly tell me that he wouldn’t say in front of Aoi?

            “You could have told me in there.” I complain as I stand in the deserted corridor shivering slightly in the cold morning air.

            “I don’t trust Aoi.” Kai remarked. “It’s obvious he tells the prince everything.”

            “Not my secrets.” I deny. “He’s one of us. Don’t you dare suggest he can’t be trusted.” I snap. It’s too early too deal with this. Far too early.

            “I wouldn’t be so sure his loyalty is to you. I’ve seen what love can do to people.” Kai argued. I glare. How can he say this about my best friend?

            “What do you know?” I demand. “You haven’t even been here a week. Aoi is my best friend. He may love Uruha but he wouldn’t betray me.”

            “Ruki, calm down. You’re going to wake people up.” Kai complained but I’m too mad to listen. Maybe if I hadn’t been so tired I would have acted differently. As it was I lost it completely.

            “Don’t you dare tell me to calm down.” I snap at him. “You’re trying to turn me against my best friend and I won’t have it. Oh and for the record, I already told Aoi about you. He was with Uruha last night. Why don’t you figure out for yourself if he can be trusted.” And with that I leave a stunned Kai in the hall and return to my room. I ignore Aoi and get back into my bed glaring at the wall.

            “Ruki I’m sorry I angered you.” Came Kai’s voice. So he followed me.

            “Get out of my room.” I practically scream at him, sitting up in my bed. I consider throwing a pillow at him to punctuate my point but think better of it. I’d only have to get up to fetch it once he was gone.

            “Ruki you’re right. I don’t know Aoi enough to judge. I’m just scared, okay? What I’m doing could lead to my death. Is it any wonder I have to be careful?” Kai asks.

            “Then don’t tell me because obviously I’m the idiot who blurts out everything to the prince’s concubine.” I retaliate. “Sorry Aoi.” I add as an after thought, I don’t want to upset him too. A quick glance shows me that Aoi is somewhere between shocked and amused by what’s going on here.

            “I think Uruha might have to be married for me to get that status.” Aoi comments but we both ignore him because it’s not important.

            “You’re not an idiot.” Kai calmly states.

            “If you’re going to trust me, you’re going to have to trust Aoi too.” I state. “Because we don’t have secrets between us.”

            Kai looks at me and then glances at Aoi. I can tell he’s trying to judge how trustworthy Aoi is.

            “I came to ask if you had decided to join me. Only, the rebels’ leader is coming today and if you say yes I’d like you to meet him.” Kai states.

            “Can I meet him before making my mind up? I have questions.” I reply.

            “I’ll have to ask him.” Kai answers. “You’re obviously in a mood so I’m going to go. I’m sorry I angered you.” I say nothing in response and he leaves looking almost heart broken. Maybe I shouldn’t have lost my temper with him. I’m sure if I was in his position I wouldn’t want Aoi to know either.

            “Ruki. Thank you.” Aoi says and I give him a look. What have I done for him to be thankful for? “For defending me.” He explains and I nod before trying to get back to sleep. Only, I can’t sleep now; my brain is too full with what I have been told. The rebel’s leader is coming today? To the castle? Then I remember Reita’s guests are also due to come today. Could it be that the rebel’s leader was among them? Obviously not one of the noble’s themselves. That would be stupid. However, they were bringing there servants with them. It must be one of them! Or maybe a new employee of the castle. But I doubted that. New employees were rare. Chances were it was the servant of one of the nobles.

            That afternoon I’m in Uruha’s room allegedly making the beds, however I’m staring out of the window as a horse drawn carriage enters the courtyard. There’s also several people on foot, the nobles servants. Could one of them be the man I’m looking for? None look anything special maybe the leader will be with the second noble?

            I watch as the noble steps out. His hair is long wavy and, off course, blond. I recognise him as Kamijo, one of the king’s friends from back when he was a prince. There is a rumour going around that his husband, Juka, used to be one of us and Kamijo gave him false rank.

            What if it’s Juka? I wonder but my thoughts are interrupted by the door behind me slamming shut. I turn shocked as the prince enters. I suddenly remember where I am and back away from the window. He must have seen that I wasn’t working.

            “I’m sorry. I was only looking for a minute.” I apologise bowing deeply at the prince.

            “My room has the best view.” Uruha states as he goes to his window to look out at the courtyard. I stand unsure. Is he giving me permission to look? “Come on, I don’t mind you slacking off a little.” Uruha encourages and I smile gratefully as I watch with him.

            I can see Aoi collecting the horses now and a glance at Uruha shows that he’s still watching. There’s a small smile on the princes face. I’m not sure if it’s because of Kamijo or Aoi though.

            “You’re so lucky.” Uruha suddenly announces startling me.

            “Lucky?” I demand. How on earth am I lucky?

            “You fall asleep every night in the same room as him.” Uruha comments. “I could never have that.”

            “You don’t have to send him back.” I comment.

            “But I do. Reita refuses to overlook our relationship if I let him stay.” Uruha sighs. “He’s always been jealous that Aoi loves me when you don’t love him.”

            “I…” I mutter before realising I don’t know what to say. “I used to.” I admit.

            “You don’t have to defend yourself.” Uruha informs me. “It’s his own stupid fault. I wish he’d learn to control his temper.”

            “That would be nice.” I confirm.

            “You know what else?” Uruha asks. “Sometimes I wish there wasn’t a division in the classes at all.”

            “You sound like one of us.” I reply. “Why do you wish for equality? You have everything you could ever want.”

            “What, a forbidden love with someone who could never be my equal because of something as meaningless as hair colour? Or are you referring to my upcoming marriage that will bind me to a woman I barely know?” Uruha demanded.

            “Do you?” I demand. “Do you really love Aoi?”

            “Yes.” Uruha replies simply, then as he realised he’d forgotten his place he added. “You better get back to work.” I watch as he leaves and I sigh. I’d never really talked to the prince before. Maybe I should have. Then I probably would have had more faith in him.

            I almost believe him before doubt sets in. Of course he would be nice to me. No point creating unnecessary conflict with his brother. And sure he’d tell me he loved Aoi, he knew we were friends. Still, he did seem genuine enough. Great. One more thing to think about. As if I didn’t have enough on my mind already.

            As the second noble arrives I’m in the room of one of the ladies. Her room doesn’t have such a great view but I haven’t cleaned it yet so I have a reason for being here. This time I keep nervously glancing at the door. I was lucky with Uruha but I doubt I’d be lucky again.

            This time I recognise the lord as Yoshiki. He’s grinning as he enters the castle. I’ve never seen him not happy, to be honest. Once again I study the servants and there is nothing impressive about them. Not until I see him. There’s a certain look in his eyes. A man who isn’t happy with his position in life. A look of rebellion. Could this be the man I am looking for?

            I glance at the door and just in time manage to get to work before the lady enters. She says nothing and sits down to brush her hair. I might as well not exist. My mind is on what I should do now. I can’t ask him if he’s the rebel leader. He’d never tell me if he was, and if he wasn’t he might tell that I’m interested for his own promotion, or just to stay in his lord’s favour.

            I’m sitting in the kitchens eating dinner when he appears. The servant who I suspect is the rebel leader. I watch Kai closely as he hands the man his dinner and I’m sure they recognise each other.

            “Here you go Toshi.” Kai says, flashing him a smile. So they do know each other! Could this really be him? Am I in the presence of such a man?

            Kai catches me looking and shakes his head. What is he telling me? No this isn’t him? Or maybe please don’t say anything?

Kai ignores me after that so I just watch the man named Toshi eat. He gives me a weird look as he catches me staring and I look down.

“Did you want to talk to me?” Toshi asks and I realise he’s come to sit at my table while I was busy focusing on my carrots.

“I was just wondering how you knew Kai.” I reply honestly.

“Oh we’re old friends.” Toshi said with a shrug. “No big deal. Not all off us have spent our whole lives in the castle you know.

“I know.” I admit.

“Anyway I’d better go. Can’t keep Yoshiki waiting.” Toshi says giving me a wink as he leaves. Wait, is he like me? Is he in a relationship with his lord too? Or maybe Kai told him I was thinking of joining the rebellion!

As the lords are busy I get a much appreciated night away from the king. I’m alone as at some point Uruha must have snuck off. Aoi was called for by him anyway. I’m busy preparing my clothes for tomorrow when I hear the door open behind me.

“Only me.” Kai states and I smile.

“I’m sorry I got so mad.” I apologise. It’s been bugging me all day.

“No, my fault. I didn’t realise how close you and Aoi were.” Kai apologised and like that the argument was forgotten.

“I talked to Uruha today.” I state. “He seemed nice enough. Of course he would fake it around me. Still, he seemed genuine.”

“Maybe.” Kai agrees. “Figured out who it is?” he teases.

“I have my suspicions.” I admit and Kai just smiles.

“Of course you do.” Kai laughed and then smiles. “I wanted to make tonight about us.” He admits.

“Us?” I ask.

“Yes us.” Kai confirms and then he’s kissing me and I put up no resistance. I may be confused by a lot of things right now but this is one thing I’m not confused about anymore. I like Kai. I may even love Kai. Regardless I don’t care about the consequences any more, I’m going to give this relationship my all. Fear shall control me no more.