It was almost a relief being called for by Reita that night. I didn’t want to face Aoi after our argument. I didn’t want to have to apologise. I knew I would have to eventually. We had to get along and I didn’t want to be arguing with the one man in the world I could actually trust. Still I had my pride and I didn’t want to damage it by admitting I had been wrong. Not in my judgement of Uruha; I was still convinced I was right about that. I was wrong to be so harsh to Aoi. I should have offered him gentle lies, told him not to worry, that it was probably nothing. My jealousy had made me tell him the truth even though I knew words wouldn’t change his mind. Only Uruha’s actions would show him that I was right.

            “Come in.” Reita called and I entered his room. He was smiling at me and gently patted the side of the bed for me to sit down. I smile back, my relief written all over my face. Reita was in a good mood, this would actually be fun. All I had to do was forget the troubles of the present and remember the happiness of my past.

            I sit beside him and he wraps his arm around me. With a sigh, I lean against him. Why can’t it always be like this? Then I could delude myself into thinking I’m special. Just like Aoi. Then I wouldn’t have snapped at him. I too would believe that it was nothing to worry about. That Uruha wouldn’t see anybody else.

            “You looked troubled.” Reita commented. He must be in a really good mood to care.

            “It’s…” I begin. Can I tell Reita? Maybe. He does protect me. Nobody other than him can hurt me now. But I can’t let him think that Aoi’s upset me. “It’s Uruha.”

            “Uruha?” Reita asks. I have to be careful now. Reita and Uruha are close and I’m not naïve enough to believe he’d pick me other his own family.

            “It’s probably nothing.” I say. “It’s just there’s this new chef, Kai, and he’s been called to Uruha’s rooms. I’m afraid he’s going to…” I can’t finish the sentence. Reita won’t think anything off it. What should I say?

            “Uruha knows who he wants.” Reita responded. “Trust me he won’t want some chef when he’s got that stable boy to warm his bed.”

            “Do you know why Kai was called for?” I ask.

            “Yes. I asked Uruha to have some words with him. He’s better at this sort of stuff than me. I know what he said to you in the kitchens.” Reita responded. Wait he knows? He knows and he’s not mad?

            “I turned him down.” I stammer quickly. Had I read him wrong? Is he been deliberately nice to lead me into a false sense of security? Reita has always been the jealous type.

            “I know.” Reita responded. “I know you’ve got over your rebellious stage. I was mad at Kai of course but Uruha calmed me down. Made me see that Kai was too new to realise what he was doing. I ended up just sending Uruha to warn him. See, I am getting more mature.”

            “You are.” I agree, my heart sinking. Aoi was right. Why did he have to be right? I still wasn’t entirely convinced of Uruha’s love for my friend, but this time Uruha hadn’t done anything wrong.

            “You don’t need to worry about your friend.” Reita promised me. Like he’d know. I bet he doesn’t even have a real friend. Great, now I feel guilty for taking delight in this. Sometimes I hate Reita more when he’s nice. It makes me feel bad for thinking such cruel thoughts about him.

            He’s kissing my neck now and I’m struggling to remember how cruel he can be. He really is a different person when he’s angry. His kisses cross my cheek and move to my lips. I’m holding onto him and let my thoughts fade away.

            I’m drifting in a fantasy world where it’s just the two of us. In this world Reita loves me and I love him. I’ve forgotten the pain he’s caused me. I can only remember the good times.

            I find myself undressing him. I want this so bad and he can tell. He smiles at me and I smile back. There’s a distant voice in my head warning me to stop but I ignore it.

            Naked and happy I lie back on the bed and Reita gently pushes into me. I can see his face, his loving caring face and all I can do is grin up at him. He moves slowly at first, gradually picking up speed. I here myself moaning his name, I’m in heaven, but I’m not here to stay.

            Reita comes inside me and it occurs to me that he hasn’t said my name once. I’m not bothered by this. The sex was too good to complain about such picky details. There’s the problem. When he tries to please me he is amazing. It makes it so hard to resist.

            Like always I’m hard now that he’s finished. I need release. He rarely gives me any himself so I reach down. Batting my hand away, he begins to stroke me. I’m too amazed to feel anything at first. He must be in a really good mood.

            “This is for being loyal to me.” Reita whispers and his lips surround my erection. I gasp in shock. He’s only ever done this a few times before. It still feels new to me. I must have really pleased him by turning Kai down. If only he knew it hadn’t been loyalty that had driven me, but fear.

            What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him so of course I stay quiet. Let him think I’m still that love struck fool he took a liking too. It’s better for me this way.

            “Oh Reita.” I moan. He’s not the king at the moment but a man. A man who is still as beautiful to me as the day I first saw him.

            “I’m coming.” I warn him and he pulls back allowing me to finish myself.

            “I have to go.” He announces and begins to get dressed. I gasp as I reach release and lay panting on the bed. He’s getting dressed now but I’m too tired to move from this room. The room that is just for the two of us. Nobody sleeps here. It used to be Reita’s when he was prince but he lives in the kings quarters now. Still it remains just the same as it always was. The room in which Reita uses my body for his own pleasure.

            “You were good.” Reita says and he kisses me on the forehead before leaving me. I lay on the bed in a happy oblivion but slowly reality returns and along with it the usual shame. Why can’t I have the courage to say no to him? I don’t like pain, that’s the problem. I’d rather let him use me and face the humiliation than be hurt by him. Yet he hurts me anyway. I just want a way out, but there is none.

            “Aoi?” I call as I enter our room. I’m a little worried he’s mad at me. As I walk in I can see he’s crying. Assuming it was my fault I bite my lip. What have I done to my best friend?

            “I’m sorry. I was wrong. He only called for Kai because Reita asked him too.” I inform him.

            “I know.” Aoi sobbed. “He told me. That’s not why I’m crying.”

            “Was it my fault?” I ask.

            “No. Of course not. I’ve already forgiven you.” Aoi responded. “I know you’re just trying to protect me. Don’t worry about it.”

            “I’m still sorry.” I respond as I go to hug him. “So what’s wrong?”

            “Uruha’s getting married.” Aoi whispered. “He says it means nothing but how can it not?”

            “Reita’s marriage means nothing to him.” I point out.

            “But you said it yourself. Uruha is different. Uruha cares.” Aoi sobs. “He’s going to fall in love with her. I know it.”

            “Who is she?” I ask. There’s nothing I can say to Aoi’s comment to make things better.

            “The daughter of his mother’s friend.” Aoi replies. “Her father died and left his money to her brother who’s cut her and her mother off from it. Uruha’s agreed to marry the daughter so that the two can be saved from poverty. Apparently the family meant a lot to his mother.”

            “See. It’s not love, it’s business.” I respond. “He’s being nice. Like you keep telling me, Uruha’s a nice man. You have to believe that Aoi. I never say this but I suspect Uruha’s only nice to look good in your eyes.”

            “What if you’re right?” Aoi asks. “What if he isn’t nice?”

            “If he isn’t nice then he’s going to keep on seeing you. No matter how you see it, it’s not going to affect your relationship.” I point out.

            “I hope you’re right.” Aoi whispers and lies on his bed curled up. That night he slept in my arms because I didn’t want to leave him alone. It was a risky thing for us to do but we did it anyway.

            I awake to a knock on the door and I hastily pull away from Aoi in case the visitor walks in on us. I’m still dressed in yesterday’s clothes but I can’t change now. I open the door and stare opened mouthed at our guest.

            “I just want to talk.” Kai says entering our room uninvited.

            “What? Kai?” Aoi asks sleepily as he sits up and rubs his eyes.

            “I’m sorry I caused you problems yesterday. I didn’t realise.” Kai apologised. “If I knew I might be causing you problems I wouldn’t have done it in public like that.”

            “That’s okay. You didn’t know.” I responded.

            “Did he hurt you?” Kai asks, looking so worried. It’s adorable but I ignore it.

            “No. He rewarded me for my loyalty.” I say rolling my eyes.

            “You don’t have to do this much longer. I’m going to see to that. Then I will make you mine.” Kai promise with a fierceness in his eyes that scares me.

            “Good luck with that.” I say laughing at his arrogance and stupidity. Surely he can’t believe he’d going to get Reita to give me up? Can he?

            “Thinks are going to change.” Kai announces firmly ignoring my scepticism. “You’ll see.”

            “If you’re talking about the rebels then give up. They won’t succeed. Rebels never do.” Aoi announced, making his presence known.

            “What if they do? They’re stronger than you’d think.” Kai announces.

            “If they did I’d be happy.” I announce. “But it’s never going to happen.”

            “I’m not so sure I would be.” Aoi admits. “It depends on what happened to Uruha in the process.”

            “The rebels aren’t like them.” Kai announces. “They won’t hurt the nobles who are pure at heart.”

            “How do you know?” I demand but Kai only winks and leaves. I glance at Aoi who is staring at the wall.

            “I think he’s one of them. How can he know all this if he wasn’t?” Aoi announces keeping his voice low so no one outside could over here.

            “I don’t think so. If he was would he make it so obvious?” I ask.

            “He’s been honest about everything else. He trusts us. He thinks of us as victims to the aristocracy. Maybe he’s been honest because he thinks we’ll join him?” Aoi suggests.

            “I don’t know.” I sigh as I go to wash. I know Aoi is happy with his lot in life but I’m not. If Kai is a rebel maybe I should join him. Get my freedom. But what would happen to Reita then? Despite everything he’s done I don’t want him to be hurt or killed. Is my freedom worth his pain? Not just his pain, the pain of all the nobles. What did the rebels do to the ruling classes? I needed to find out and my only lead was Kai. Guess I’d have to talk to him again. I just hope I can do it without Reita finding out.