I walk into my home and throw my keys at the table by the door. Some days I get so sick of being in this band. Why am I still been treated like the new comer? It’s been two years. All I want is my fair share of creative choice. I’m not even allowed that. So what if I cut my hair without asking his highness’s permission? It’s my hair.

            Still I knew Mana would be mad. I gave up trying to please him. Mana’s controlling nature is part of my job and I put up with it because there’s still part of me that loves this band. I love being on stage with the fans calling my name. I love how the interviewers are always scared of us. I love the fan mail from people letting me know they care. I especially love the fan fiction. Especially when the fans get it right. It’s not Mana I love, it’s Kami.

Kami is an angel among demons and I, the blackest of us all, am attracted to his light like a moth to a flame. Only to find the flame is a butterfly that isn’t afraid of the darkness within me. His light guides my way and I don’t know how I ever survived without him.

            Sometimes Kami and I will act out the scenes that our fans send us. If it’s possible. I won’t hurt Kami and he won’t hurt me but we’re both willing to experiment in any other way. The best are the ones written in English and Kami is struggling with the words. I have to just throw him down then, our role play forgotten.

            “Hard day?” Kami whispers in my ear as he slips his arms around my waist. I can smell the faint traces of women’s perfume on him. No he hasn’t been cheating, this is his own special scent.

            I never invited Kami here but I’m not surprised. He has his own key and I was hoping he’d be here to welcome me home. It’s always so much nicer to come home to him than an empty house.

            “Yeah.” I admit. I’m glad Kami got to leave the recording studio early. He’d only cry if he’d been there. He can’t stand to see us fight. He’s terrified that one day I’ll leave the band.

            “Did you fight with Mana?” Kami asked. “I know he wasn’t happy about your hair.”

            “Yeah. But that happens most days. I’m immune to it.” I respond true fully.

            “I like your hair. It’s sexy.” Kami remarked and I have to kiss him now to let him know how thankful I am for his comment.

            “Közi had a go at me too.” I remark. “And then Yu~ki had to join in. He never likes being left out. He has a phobia that we’ll all forget about him if he doesn’t speak up.”

            “I’m sorry I wasn’t there. It sounds like you needed an ally.” Kami said sadly.

            “Don’t be sorry. I’m a grown man.” I reply. “A grown man who needs help with his stress.”

            “I’ll give you a massage.” Kami said flashing me a smile.

            “Sounds good.” I remark and kiss him again. How I love the taste of Kami’s lips. I could kiss him all day if he’d let me, but he won’t let me. He’s already leading me towards the bedroom. My bedroom, our bedroom. It’s all the same to me now. What’s mine is his.

            In my room I let Kami remove my clothes and lie on the bed. His hands are on my back and I finally start to relax. He really is good at this and I sigh happily as he massages my back and my neck. His hand are on my shoulders now and we haven’t said a word. I can hear the sounds of rap music coming up from outside but even that doesn’t ruin my mood.

            Kami’s hands move onto my ass and I smile. So he has other ideas, I’m not surprised. Still I won’t let him take advantage of me and I roll over onto my back. A gentle reminded that I’m always on top.

            “Spoil sport. I’m trying to give you a massage.” Kami sulks.

            “Well massage my front then.” I reply cheekily. He gets my message and I watch him get onto the bed and kneel besides me.

            Now he’s massaging a far more intimate area and I let out a small moan. I watch his face, which is a picture of concentration, until I can’t take it anymore. I shut my eyes and just enjoy his touch. Obviously the attention of such a beautiful man sends my blood southwards and I can feel myself going hard beneath his touch. I’m not embarrassed in the slightest to be so vulnerable before him. As I said before, what’s mine is his, and that applies to my body.

            Kami knows what to do to give me pleasure and his massage turns into hard strokes along my length. My breathing quickens as his touch sends more and more pleasure up my spine.

            “Oh Kami.” I gasp. “I love you.” And then I forget his presence. I’m lost in waves of pleasure. It almost feels like I’m drowning. I want to drown in this. I want to be swallowed up whole and stay here where the only emotion is pure and utter happiness.

            Off course it doesn’t last. I’m lying on my bed gasping for air. I think I called his name, I can’t remember. Slowly I open my eyes and am almost blinded by the light of the room. I block it all out and focus on Kami, only he matters. I watch as he licks his hand clean, he knows I’m watching and he’s deliberately taking his time. Making it last. Well I do the same thing when the situation is reversed.

            “Go take a shower.” Kami whispered.

            “What about you?” I ask.

            “I can wait for later.” Kami said with a shrug. I watch him go and just lie there. I can hear the kitchen taps running as he washes his hands properly. I lie here until he returns. He looks annoyed with me.

            “Why aren’t you in the shower?” he demands.

            “Because I’m tired.” I mutter.

            “Get in the shower.” Kami orders pulling me up. I groan, but I do as he says. Now everyone is annoyed with me and my selfish ways. Somehow I don’t seem to care. I’ll make it up to Kami later. I always do. After all he belongs to me just as much as I belong to him.