~Uruha’s POV~

            It’s late and I’m tired so when the phone rings I’m less than happy to answer it. I’d only just got in bed.

            “Hello?” I mutter. I know my annoyance is in my voice. I can’t help it.

            “Oh god you are mad at me!” Aoi exclaims down the phone. What?

            “I’m not mad at you. Why would I be mad?” I ask. Seriously what’s going through his head?

            “Because I didn’t call you. I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were so stressed. I’ve only just talked to Kai.” Aoi explains.

            “It’s alright. I didn’t expect a call.” I admit. “I was just stressed.  I’m over it now. You don’t have to worry.”

            “I can’t help it. I don’t want to loose you.” Aoi says. There’s silence as I mentally repeat what he said.

            “I love you too.” I respond. He didn’t quite say that but I know he does. At least I hope he does. What if he doesn’t?

            “You love me?” Aoi repeats. I hope that’s happiness I hear in his voice. It’s too late now anyway.

            “Yeah. Is that ok?” I ask.

            “Off course it is. I… I feel the same.” Aoi replies. We talk a little longer but it’s late and he has work in the morning so we say our goodbyes. I go to bed happy.

~Aoi’s POV~

            Reita seems to have run out of things to ask me about homosexuality. It was kind of fun teaching him though. He’s sitting in the back with his head in his hands. He looks so stressed. Maybe I should ask him what’s wrong. Is that being too nosy? Maybe if I ask him casually.

            “You ok?” I ask. There perfect. It shows I care but also gives him the chance to deny anything is even wrong.

            “Yeah.” He lies. I shrug and turn away. So he doesn’t want to share. Fair enough. “Just that this shop is barely making any profit.”

            “It is pretty quiet.” I admit. “Maybe you could advertise more.”

            “Possibly.” Reita agrees. I can tell he wants to finish the conversation so I stop talking. It’s not until later, when I’m at home, that I come up with an idea. Uruha is technically a celebrity. Maybe he will help out. When I phone him I get no answer. It’s strange. He should be home. He’s expecting me to call. I told him I’d call last night. What if something has happened to him? I sit worried for a bit before making up my mind. I will go over and check he’s ok.  He could have slipped and fell in the shower or something.

            Stupid bus. Why are you taking so long to arrive? I wish I had a car right now.

~Uruha’s POV~

            I’m surprised when Ruki comes over. I didn’t invite him he just turns up. I can instantly tell he’s drunk. I let him in but he doesn’t say anything. He sits on the sofa and waits for me to join him. Confused I wander over and sit down. Next thing I know he’s hugging me. I don’t even know why.

            “Ruki what’s wrong?” I ask puzzled.

            “Nothing. I just don’t want to be alone anymore.” Ruki replies. He pulls away from me and sits staring at the wall. What on earth is going on? He’s like this for a while. One minute all over me then the next pulling apart. I keep asking him what’s wrong but he won’t tell me.

            “I’m going to make us some tea.” I finally announce giving up on him. If he won’t tell me, he won’t tell. But Kai’s tea helped calm me down. Maybe it will help calm Ruki.

~Ruki’s POV~

            It started with a few drinks at work. That’s what made me drunk. We were celebrating somebody’s birthday but the more I drank the more depressed I got. It’s not fair. Why does Aoi get to be with Uruha? I wanted him first. I had first rights.

            “I’m going to tell him” I shout out getting strange looks. Oh that’s right. People can’t hear your thoughts. My plan decided I head for Uruha’s place. I will tell him I love him and he will confess he loves me too. He has to love me. I’m his friend. Not some random alcoholic he met in a meeting. I hate Aoi. I hate his hair, his eyes. That lip ring. Most of all I hate those hands that touch Uruha’s skin. Those ears that have heard his moans. Those lips that have felt Uruha’s on his.

            When I arrive I think I must have sobered up a little bit. I can’t tell him. It’s not fair. He’s in love. What should I do? I can’t decide. So I hold him. This feels so good. No it’s not fair. What should I do?

            He leaves to make some tea and I take the bottle of vodka from my bag. I’d bought it on the way here. It was my back up plan but I couldn’t use it. It wasn’t fair.

            He sets the cups down and goes back for the milk. No I need this. Carefully I tip some of his away and replace the liquid with vodka. I take some myself to calm my nerves. When Uruha is drunk he’s not afraid to admit he wants me.

            Right now I’m too drunk to think straight. I want Uruha. I want him bad. Uruha returns and adds some milk to his drink.

            “Does this tea taste strange to you?” Uruha asks after he tastes his.

            “No. It’s fine.” I say taking a sip of my non alcoholic tea.

            “Must just be me.” Uruha says with a shrug.

~Uruha’s POV~

            I think there’s something up with my tea. I’m feeling strangely light headed. Like I’ve been drinking. I don’t know how this happened. I’ve only had tea. Strangely addictive tea. Who gets drunk after two mugs of tea? Or was it three? It might be three. Ruki still hasn’t told me what’s wrong. He’s just watched me and makes small talk.

            I watch as Ruki pulls a bottle of vodka out from his bag and pours himself a glass. I watch jealousy as he drinks it. Why is he doing this to me? Why drink in front of me? He knows how tempted I am by alcohol.

            “I’m going to the bathroom.” Ruki announces. I watch him leave and my eyes fall on the bottle he’s left behind. It won’t be so bad if I just smelt it right?

            I know I shouldn’t be doing this but there’s part of me that doesn’t care. The moment I smell the vodka I remember how much I love it. I’m drinking straight from the bottle. This is what my body craves. I take a second swig and a third. By the time Ruki returns I’ve drunk about 2 inches of alcohol from the bottle.

            Ruki doesn’t seem mad. He seems pleased. He smiles at me and sits on the other end of the sofa.

            “Now maybe you can admit the truth.” Ruki announces casually. Has he got me drunk on purpose? I think he has. He left the bottle here. He knows what I’m like drunk. The alcohol is taking an effect now. I feel my resolve slipping. I watch Ruki pour two glasses and I drink mine happily. I can’t stop laughing. I don’t know why I’m laughing I just am.

            The phone starts to ring and I reach to answer it.

            “Ignore it.” Ruki suggested. He hands me a second glass. Yes that’s good advice. I’ll ignore the ringing it’ll go away. I have a vague memory of it being important but I don’t care. I drink a second glass. We’re drinking together. It’s not a problem when you’re drinking with company. It’s being social.

~Ruki’s POV~

            We drink until the bottle is empty. Luckily it’s a small bottle or we’d probably have drunk ourselves to death. It’s strong stuff.

            “It’s gone.” Uruha said sounding like a small child. He looks into the bottle to make sure none is hiding. It’s so cute. I grab him and pull him close. We’re kissing, hungry kisses. My hands are stroking him. It’s been too long since we last did this. I’m desperate for him. He’s hungry for me, or just sex. I don’t care. I want him now.

            “No!” Uruha suddenly announces pulling away. “No. I don’t want this.”

            “Sure you do. Just look at that bulge.” I laugh and I kiss him again. He’s fighting me but I ignore it. It adds to my pleasure. I want this. He wants this. See he’s not even fighting me now. I knew he wanted this.

            I pull off his clothes and get up to remove my own. He’s lying on the sofa now. His eyes are shut and he looks excited. That or scared. No he’s defiantly excited.

            “This should be Aoi.” Uruha whispers as I return to him.

            “Aoi doesn’t love you.” I reply kissing his cheek softly. “Not like I love you.”

            “I love him.” Uruha says and begins to cry.

            “You love me more. Let me remind you.” I whisper.

~Uruha’s POV~

            There’s no point fighting. I’m a slut and we both know it. Aoi is too good for me. Ruki is like me. We deserve each other. Aoi was a dream.

            I gasp as Ruki pushes into me. I shut my eyes and picture Aoi’s face. If only this could be him. Ruki is pounding into me. It’s like he’s forgotten about my pleasure. I feel only pain. I don’t want this.

            “Ruki stop.” I beg.

            “Shh. It’s almost over.” Ruki whispers and I start to cry. I’m a slut. I’m a slut. I’m a slut. Why do I have to be such a slut? Why can’t I fight him? Why have I just given up?

            Because I’m bad. I’m a horrible person. Aoi deserves better. I deserve this. I deserve to be used by men for there pleasure. It’s all I’m good for.

            Is that my door? I heard knocking. I open my eyes and I see Aoi staring at me horrified.

            ‘Help me.’ I silently beg. I open my mouth to call but he’s gone. I sob harder now. Why didn’t he help? He must have seen the tears. Surely he saw the tears. He doesn’t care. He knows I deserve this too.

            Ruki finishes with me and only then he notices the tears.

            “Uruha?” Ruki asks. He sounds shocked.

            “Please just go.” I beg. He tries to apologise to me. Claims he didn’t know I was so distressed. “Just go.” I beg again. I repeat it over and over again. “Just go. Just go. Just go.” Eventually he leaves and I lie there. “Just go. Just go. Just go and burn in hell.” It’s not him I’m talking to anymore. It’s myself. “You belong in hell. Just go.”

Authors Note: I'm sorry :(

Irnoically this ended up chapter 13. I didn't plan it that way it just happened.